Dear Ana,

I've eaten WAY more than necessary today... But I've been exercising, so it kind of evens out the playing field a bit.

Been having a ton of thoughts about marriage lately...
Well, boyfriend deserves a better me.
No one wants to marry the fat girl.
In every bridal picture you see, it's these wispy girls in their cupcake dresses.
Their collar bones lift the chains of their necklaces up off the skin.
Their shoulder blades dance to and fro beneath their golden skin as they walk down the aisle toward a man whose looking at them like "wow, she is beautiful."

I want that.
I want to be the wispy girl.
I want to have the collar bones and the shoulder blades.
Most of all, though. I want to be perfect for him.
I want all of his friends to envy him for having the beautiful girlfriend.
I want him to be constantly thinking about me and to be so attracted to me that he can't stay away.

I want to be the perfect picture of that which every girl wants to achieve, and what every guy wants. Period.

I want my ribs and hip bones to cut through my skin like glass.
I never want to ask the question "How do you stay so thin?" ever again.
I can do this. I have to.
I WILL fix myself.
My arms ache from working out. This makes me happy. It means I'm making progress =]
Thinspo =]