So, the other day, I went through my closet and got rid of all my old clothes that I was hoping that I'd be able to fit into again...
I just gave up on them, and it makes me sad.
I mean, yeah, I kept a few of them, but only the ones I actually plan to wear when I'm skinny... If I ever get skinny.
I didn't drop off the face of the earth, Just the face of blogger... I did a shame induced disappearance, because I now weigh 223 [yes, you did read that right]
I hate this cycle of starve, binge, fail, gain, repeat.
I know I need to exercise, and that is the best way to lose weight, but I'm so freaking tired ALL THE TIME...
I don't know if I've said this before, but I am freaking lethargic...
At random times throughout the day, I feel like I should apologize to my boyfriend for being so fat.
But I stop myself because he would get mad at me for calling myself fat.
Yeah, I'm glad he loves me the way I am, but the fact that I don't overrides it.
I really need to get back into the swing of counting calories. It worked SO well for me before. It's just really freaking hard to get back into the habit.
I doubt anyone even reads this blog anymore... It's not like I'd blame you if you stopped. I'm a broken record. I never say anything original because I keep repeating the same cycle of behavior.
I wish there was a way for me to stay motivated... I feel like I've tried everything, but nothing works long term. Not even looking at myself keeps me feeling motivated. I know I could do it if I would just make myself get up and DO IT, but that's the freaking hard part.
Especially when I feel like I could just collapse and fall asleep at any given minute.
that's sad :(
ReplyDeletepdskfspkgs I don't get rid of any of my clothing. we just keep them in storage.
you can always get thin love <3
I just always think you're being too strict. like when you were on your 1500 calorie plan or something - I honestly believe that you should aim for the slowest loss. from what I think, if your diet plan isn't one you can be on for the rest of your life, then you're doing something wrong <3
I work in deficits. like I have a 1480 calorie intake, if I eat less than that, I plug the 'leftover' calories into tomorrow's. it prevents overeating.
aw love :( i'm sorry about the weight gain, but if you can gain weight, you can put it off.
and yeah, that's the problem, sweetie. if you starve, you're bound to binge.
not really. i mean your body is 10% genetics, 10% exercise, and 80% diet.
aw i'd count your calories for you if i could <3 sfspfspkfs but don't you miss the feel after you've eaten just the right bit in the day? :D
try sticking to about 200-300 calories under maintenance, and eat about every 2-3 hours. that always helps me. because i love food. i have to eat it all the time. i just graze within the day. i find it helpful. :)
-Sam Lupin
PS. I've read this blog about 2-3 times. i love it. just to say that even if you feel like a broken record, to remind you: you have made progresses that were halted by a million things. like i said - moderation i believe is literally the key. if you crave something, fucking eat it. i HATE it when people go like "oh if im craving crisps, i want something salty so im eating some healthy salty thing." no. if you're craving crisps, have some bloody crisps!
OMFG AYDEN I THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD OR IN HOSPITAL!
ReplyDeleteDon't listen to the diet industry, ok? Their products are designed to fail and keep you coming back.
Love you missy *huggles*