Sunday, November 14, 2010

Dear Ana,

Today went okay.

Total Intake:

1 1/2 cup pineapple ~90?~
1 gum drop ~10?~
Corn-on-the-Cob ~120?~
Bagel ~330~
Bowl of Vegan soup ~150?~
2 [ >.< ] Fiber One bars ~280~

Total Cals: 980

See that? Just okay. I am super surprised and proud that I stayed below 1,000. Major accomplishment for whenever I allow myself to eat unchecked.

Tomorrow morning I'm going to go to the gym before school. I am going to get back into the routine of running or biking every day, and burning AT LEAST 400 calories per time at the gym. I have completely let my whole exercise routine go down the drain, and I want to get it back out.

I want to be like the girls at my school who wear sexy skirts and shorts and have nothing to worry about. I want to be able to see through the space between my thighs. I want to be able to confidently jump on my boyfriend's back without having to worry about giving him a deviated spinal disc.

I want to be able to eat without looking like a fat ass at Christmas.

Skinny girls don't look fat when they eat... But somehow, seeing a fat person eat is nauseating.
I will be skinny again. I promise myself. I promise you.

It's taking a major toll on my mental health having to look at this disgusting, jiggly, flabby body every day.

How am I supposed to imagine myself thin if I can't see myself any other way?

Oooo I can't wait to see my bones =] beautiful, sharp bones.

You are all my motivation!

For your comments on my last post, I would like to thank:

Lilah Lee
Amy
BonesArePure
BellaAna

You guys made me smile with your support and agreement on the fact that Cinnamon Rolls are the devil. I have no Idea how I would stay sane without you!

Stay Strong Ladies!

4 comments:

  1. love you daring :)
    i so agree with you about how fat people look gross when they eat. skinny people make eating ANYTHING look glamorous.
    and also the piggy-back thing i so true. whenever friends (girls or guys) offer me a piggy back or to sit on their laps i always decline because i don't want them to feel how heavy i am.
    but that will all change - hopefully soon!
    stay strong xxx

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  2. i know what you mean, i feel super self conscious eating in front of skinny/thin girls -__- i only take bite when they're not looking. ive also been lacking in my exercise routine ug. but getting back on track tomorrow since its the begining of a new week! :D

    reply- i make sweaters for any size dog actually =) i need a few measurements and im good to go! here's my page if your interested! having difficulty with the actual buying page on craigs list though, grrr:
    http://www.facebook.com/home.php?#!/pages/Puppie-Crochet/158767980831712

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  3. hye love
    glad u had a good day great job stayin under 1000 cals hun thas great
    and u will ose the weight and b skinny
    god ihate watching all ppl eat but ur right fat ppl eating is just gross
    stay strong hun

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  4. hey love your blog. and i know i hate when people watch me eat especially super thin girls but some day we will be one of them.
    food in general is just disgusting sometimes?
    x Lyndee

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