Sorry I haven't posted in a while. Believe it or fucking not, I'm god damn sick again.
I hate this. It's like my immune system decided to take an early Xmas break. This is the second time I've been sick in like two months!
LAMELAMELAMELAMELAME
I haven't exactly been watching my intake like I should be either. That and a HUGE shameful conscience are the reasons for my lack of posting lately.
I definitely felt like 'if I post, then they'll be disappointed in me,' But I'm already disappointed in me, so I suppose if you guys are too it won't be too much worse. Plus, If I don't face up to my mistakes and tell you all about them, then I won't end up doing anything about fixing them.
So, Here's my confession.
I have, in these past couple weeks, made it into the 3000s about twice
I haven't reached the negatives once
And currently, I think I'm sitting right around the 2450 mark.
This is the reason for the shame.
And I feel that this is definitely a legitimate reason to feel bad about myself. That is enough fucking calories to feed starving children in cuba [or somewhere else]
Bad, bad decision on my part. I would really like a miracle magic spell that could just completely remove everything from my system and allow me to start over, completely empty. That would just be absolutely wonderful right now. For some reason, I just can't say no to anything.
My little sister is officially beating me at this. She has only had carrots and lettuce since yesterday, and she has declared herself a vegan. I really wish I could get up the will power to join up with her, and maybe even beat her, but the fact that she is actually beating me at something is really getting me depressed. I know I should use it as motivation, but being sick, I literally don't feel like I have the energy to really focus on something right now.
I have to go, Mom and sister just got home =/
Even though things seem really tough at the moment, just remember that tomorrow is a new day! Your sister may be 'beating' you now, but you have the power to change that! You can do this!
ReplyDeleteOn a side not I do love that your sister has become a vegan, the less people eating animal and animal byproducts in this world the better!
Idk about a miracle, but I do happen to specialize in magic spells! Get some rue (it's a herb) and pack it into 3 empty teabags. Make yourself a hot bath and put the teabags of rue into the bath while the water is running. Let the teabags steep in the bathwater for at least ten minutes, then take a bath. Make sure to fully submerge yourself at least once, or if the tub is too small for that just make sure you cover every inch of your skin in the bathwater. This will banish all negative energies out of your system. (And it will also break any curses, if anyone has put a curse on you...).
ReplyDeleteThanks for the lovely comment on the pic. I don't actually do ballet--they kicked me out when I was 8 because I was "not graceful."
xoxo
dw hun i've been doing the same thing eating-wise. i feel so ashamed but i know this is the one place i can find support - always remember that!
ReplyDeletestay strong and you will get there xx
im sorry hun that ur having a rough time
ReplyDeleteif it makes u feel better ive been rally sick as well and ive been eating way to much as well so ur not alone
awww girly, I was right there with ya in the 3000's somewhere yesterday! If that makes it any better? haha
ReplyDeleteWe can fix this though... and I know hoe you feel about your little sis. Just work up the will power to be right there with her, you can do it!
I think that we all need "breaks" from this whole crazy life we live.... but tomorrow, is always a new day... I know that is said a lot... but it is true! So let's make every day great for the rest of 2010 :)
Love yaaa
Kels
OMG I neeeed to find this Dr.Phil show!
ReplyDelete100 pounds in 1 year?!
Doesn't that just make the 10 pounds we fret about here and there look like nothing! haha... I couldn't even imagine that....