Dear Ana,

So today.
Getting my hair did.
Getting my roots touched up.
Annnddd. Eating shit tons of calorie free, garlic pickles.
My only problem with fasting is the lack of taste. And if I can find vegetables and fruits that I can flavor up with calorie-free things like salt, cinnamon, and other herbs, I could do a negative calorie diet.
I really want to, so so so bad.
I hate not being able to have sex because of the way I feel about my body...
It's debilitating, and very depressing.

My friends are all the same size they were in Middle School, and I can't stand watching myself balloon up while they stay the same. It's like I'm growing and they're continually shrinking.
One friend in particular has driven me INSANE with jealousy since I met her.
I'll call her... Tori for the sake of confidentiality.

K, so I met Tori in 8th grade. We became best friends and were for about one year until she became convinced that I was stealing her boyfriend and we got in a huge fight and now were only acquaintances.
She has always been like 100 lbs, skinny, tall, and seemingly perfect.
She's always had the perfect figure, body, and just like everything.
I can't think of a time when she was without a boyfriend, she's always being hit on out and about.
I have a class with her every other day, and It drives me nuts to see her bringing in packages of mini donuts, and chips and non-diet sodas, and she never gains a pound.
Her mom is the same way. tiny.

This girl is the biggest source of thinspo in my immediate life.
Jealousy can do wonders, ladies...
Who are some thinspirational people in your lives?
xoxo