Jitters

So today, I had my first day of work. It wasn't too bad, but it was long..
We were let go around 3, but the day had felt infinitely longer. It was pretty much just standard beginning of training stuff, going over policies and stuff like that. Policies that I read when I did my new hire paperwork. I know that other people might not read those things, but I did. So I heard the policy stuff twice.

My intake for yesterday was 910
I remember it off the top of my head because of the consecutive numbers in the one number lol
Today was a weight day, and I'm starting to worry that I'm not working myself hard enough. I'm not getting sore anymore, but I do repetitions until it becomes painful to breathe and my heart is racing... And then I do 10 more reps!!
I don't know if I could survive pushing myself any harder right now.
Cardio days are always easy because there is a little readout on whatever machine I'm on that says how well I'm doing. How far I've hypothetically traveled, how many calories I've burned, etc. etc.
I know I'm making a difference on Cardio days, but on weight days?
I basically just have to make myself in pain in order to be satisfied... And then once the pain is gone, I no longer feel satisfied, and then I live out the rest of the day all guilty and such because I feel like I didn't work out as hard as I could have.

I've decided to make my weigh-in days Sundays, because I work on Mondays and I'm crunched for time on those days. Sundays, I don't work, so it only makes sense to weigh then.
This means that weigh-in is day after tomorrow.
I'm literally twitching with anticipation. I've voiced this before, but you're gonna hear it again, because this is my place to bitch and gush and vent...
I have such high hopes and expectations since I lost so much for my last weigh-in, and I'm afraid that I've lost minimally, or just maintained. If I've gained, I'll be legitimately shocked because I've been working out EVERY DAY and following my diet plan more intensely than the doctor intended. He told me 1500 cals a day, and I have not once even reached that much. The majority of the time, I don't even reach 1100. So I'm not concerned about a gain. I just don't wanna get on the scale and find out I've maintained. That would royally suck.

In reply to your comments:

Peri: I would LOVE some fluffy dice for my lovely car =] and I purposely ignore my BMR, because last time I took it into account, I abused it and would eat more than I should have. Plus, this way I actually get results =]

Farmacista: I think you'll get results, girl! You're working too hard not to! And I'm sorry, but I don't want to put my real name on here just in case someone I know stumbles onto the blog and finds out some things about me that I don't want known. I'm paranoid, I know, but I like feeling safe here =]

And now, I've run out of things to say, so I'll bid you all a temporary adieu =]
I love you girls!